POST-MORTEM EXCLUSIVE
LAURIER RIGHT!!
20th century belongs to Canada
Exclusive — A title search by a Kitsilano Post-Mortem investigative team has revealed that the 20th century belongs to Canada.
The discovery appears to confirm a prediction made by one-time Prime Minister Sir Wilfred Laurier, now deceased.
It wasn't an easy search. Investigators had to plow through ownership documents and an intricate network of shell corporations, offshore accounts and interlocking directorships.
"But out of that spider web of information, a picture gradually emerged," said business reporter Michelle Niçoise. "The true owner of the 20th century is in fact Canada."
Laurier could not be reached for comment.
The United States, which currently has possession of the 20th century, agreed late yesterday to turn it over to Canada. U.S. President Bill Clinton said he had no doubt Canada's claim is valid, “for what it’s worth.”
“We were pretty much finished with it anyway,” said Clinton.
HINTS FOR THE HOME
Medical glossary
As a service to our readers, we are pleased to offer this glossary of medical terms, as used by the British Columbia Medical Association:
BCMA term |
Meaning |
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Respect |
Money |
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Quality of medical care |
Money |
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Workload |
Money |
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Reduced Activity Day |
Only nine holes instead of 18 |